Life is sooooooooooooo busy as a working momma of THREE kids... but, life is also full of so many "little" things...you know, those simple pleasures that really bring so much joy... I'm mostly thinking of the dopey things that my kids say and do that make me laugh... but also the little adventures we have or the day trips that we do... you think you will remember them all, but those memories really do fade over time. I am hoping to sit down once a month (ideally, once a week, but being that I hardly manage one decent shower a week, we'll aim for once a month for now! LOL) to detail those quotable quotes or beautiful little actions (or those not so much) as well as our family activities. I hope you enjoy!! :)

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Marathons & Moodswings... Life at Its Finest!!

I think I can, I think I can... said the little engine that could.  Well, actually, I firmly BELIEVE that I can, I'm just SO. DARNED. TIRED!  To what am I referring, you might ask?  That stupid marathon which is FINALLY just two weeks away!!

Back in the olden days (that would be pre-kids), I would have documented this adventure with a scrapbook full of pictures mounted proudly with cute diecuts and stickers... These days?  More likely with a blog post... you know the one... where I check in, weekly, with my thoughts and feelings and cute little pictures of the little places along the way that will forever signal marathon training memories.  But, let's get real.

I started out well.  Found a training plan that called for running four times a week.  Given my work schedule, that meant only one day that I had to run AND work (you know, work outside the home... not including that whole mommy thing... but, anyone who's ever been a mom knows that job SURELY isn't much of a time-stealer... <insert sarcasm, in case it doesn't read>).  And, as I put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, the training didn't seem to bad.  I was almost GIDDY from the excitement.  ANYONE can train for a marathon!!  I was going to do this!

Fast forward about eight weeks, halfway through training, and what do you get?  A raging loon.  Seriously.  At that point, the "fun" (i.e. seriously longer runs... half marathon being the shortest) began, and, coincidentally, so did school.  My favorite day of the week became Tuesday.  You know?  That ONE day that I had to run AND work.  Seemed simple in the PLAN... Dose of reality- picture this typical Tuesday:  Up around 5 a.m. (because I JUST can't get up sooner).  "Short" 5 mile run.  Shower & ready for work while getting the kids up and ready for school (John leaves for work somewhere amid this insanity).  Race Katy to my parents' house, often running later than I'd like because I should have gotten up sooner.  Get the boys and I to school, scarf a little breakfast while answering emails, and then begin my day.  Teach. Lunch (sometimes on the go). And teach some more.  School day ends and head off to class (don't ask... YES, I have two endorsements in addition to my original one.  Yes, I have my Masters.  Yes, I actually have 30+ class hours on TOP of my Masters, yet I still have to take a FUN, exciting, mandatory afternoon class that just HAPPENS to fall on Tuesday).  Learn to my fullest.  Grab the boys, race off to pick up Katy, and then meet John (unless he gets stuck at work which, fortunately only happened one Tuesday this year) at the baseball field where we have practice for Ryan and a game for Patrick.  We all get home a bit after 8, still having to get the kids settled and to bed before John and I sit down to eat, typically at 9ish.  Just to have to wake up (often for a before school meeting or training which happens twice a month on Wednesday mornings) and do it all again the next day.  Not one Tuesday, not two Tuesdays, but my usual Tuesdays since school began.  Most people can't stand Mondays.  I, personally, am over Tuesday!  Who the heck does Marathons for FUN?  Who does this more than ONCE in a lifetime?  Who??  WHO?!

Me. Pretty much everyday!
And then I listen to myself.  Complain. Complain. Complain.  Then comes the guilt... I signed up for this thing, didn't I?  And, I still WANT it!  And, woe is me, REALLY, for being healthy enough to actually train for a marathon.  And, woe is me for having a spouse who picks up the short end sometimes regularly so that I can train (not to mention RECOVER) hard on Sundays.  Oh, yes, ANOTHER thing I can feel guilty about... how much I'm asking John to do... missing out on time with the kids... and, really, planning our entire weekends this fall around my long runs.  Complain. Complain. Complain.  Whine.  Whine.  Whine.  UGH!  I did eventually snap out of that phase... Shortly after I became numb and just plain delirious!! ;)  Got back to simply keeping my eye on the prize!  I can do this... one step at a time, one foot in front of the other... knock off the whining!!

And, here I am... just two weeks shy of the BIG day.  I have reached the point where I have full confidence that I can finish.  I also have a full dose of reality that it is going to SUCK (poor choice of words, but I can think of no other)... BIG TIME.  The 22 miles that I did the other day brought me to the edge... and I will still have a solid 4.2 miles to go after that.  But, I know that for ONE DAY I can hold myself together and push myself further than I have ever gone before.  I CAN.  When I cross that finish line I will know that there is truly NOTHING that I CAN'T accomplish if I set my mind to it.  I will have proven this to myself. Will there be a better feeling than realizing that?  I don't think so... other than having my sweet little family there at the finish line to congratulate me... and, even better, getting a hug from John even when I'm all sweaty and stinky (OCD Johnny has to give sweaty Kimmy a hug)!  LOL... It is THAT moment that I will be holding in my head as my body begins to give, I ache beyond belief, I feel like I just can't go one.step.further and my mind tries to tell me I can't.

I do complain.  I am exhausted.  I have come to LOATHE having to run (is there a word stronger than 'loathe' because I'm not sure that's strong enough).  But I have seen that I am truly blessed.  I am surrounded by scores of people who have supported me either financially (I've raised nearly $500!!) and emotionally (letting me whine and complain or simply checking in on me and my progress).  And, of course, Eileen who has trained with me (15+ miles are MUCH easier with someone by your side!) and John who, quite frankly, I could not have done it without (those 3 kids can't raise themselves!).  I have learned about myself.  Most specifically that I am STRONG, committed, and capable of achieving even the most far off of dreams.

So, Marine Corps Marathon 2013.  BRING IT!  I am ready (well, I technically still have 37 training miles left to run... two to walk...and I'm trying to be positive about it)!!!  Mostly ready to have accomplished this goal and to have it all behind me.  Ready for that moment:  Sweet Victory!  And, if I'm being truthful, ready to have my life back!!

I close with a quote from the great General George S. Patton (my older brother would be SO proud... luckily, because of his sweet bride-to-be's interest in my blog, he might actually learn that I quoted him)... "Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing.  You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do.  The body will always give up.  It is always tired in the morning, noon and night.  But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."  See?  It's THAT easy!! ;)

<3 Kimberly, John, Patrick, Ryan, and Katy